Smith is a GODDESS

Ah, My Goddess! is cool. As a quirky, supernatural spin-off of the traditional sempai-kohei relationship, Ah, My Goddess!touches on a couple of facets. The movie reminds me of I dream of Genie and Bewitched and whatnot. In cases like the ones in these stories, I firmly believe in strict contracts of lifelong companionship. They make things interesting. In this story, the contract is initiated in the form of a wish for a wish-granting goddess' eternal company. I like situations like these because they guarantee either happiness or shenanigans. These bonds are stronger than marriage.  By the nature of said bonds, each party must learn to overcome their differences or prepare for an eternity of displeasure. It's cool to see stories that are driven by ultimatums because their plots are typically more drastic and relevant.  A perfect example of such drastic plots twists is Keiichi's expulsion from his dorm. Keiichi's rash decision to board a goddess in an all-male dorm results in homelessness, a problem which Keiichi and his new woman must face quite abruptly.

It is nice to see losers like Keiichi get broads.  I always feel happy when characters like him are given breaks by the universe.  Keiichi, as previously mentioned, is at the losing end of the sempai-kohei relationship at his school.  Naturally, he is bullied and disrespected by his upperclassmen and that isn't very nice.  But it is pretty awesome that he was compensated for his suffering with a hot goddess.  

Another way to look at it is to consider the amount of trouble women cause for men-- especially men like Keiichi.  He had enough to worry about before this crazy lady came into his life and got him into all kinds of trouble.  I mean sure it works out in the end, but gee whiz, Belldandy kinda messes stuff up a bit. Women.

Smith MONONOOOOke

Princess Mononoke is a pleasant flick to watch. In terms of both production and and story, Mononoke's value is is immediately apparent. In the fashion of all great directors, Miyazaki couples his film's intrinsic soundness with a slightly more elusive message about the nature of humanity and its relationship with the rest of the natural world.

My favorite of Miyazaki's devices is his method of personifying the animal's of his world.  As a human, the animals portrayed in the film are discomforting.  Miyazaki cuts the human advantage in the circle of life by giving the rest of the animals not only an obvious increase in size, but also a cognitive capacity which mirror humanity's quite closely. In an even more outlandish twist, the animals are also able to communicate verbally with humans.  Not only are their mechanisms of speech similar those of humans, but also they communicate with the same vernacular.  By giving the animals such substantial advantages in the circle of life, Miyazaki presents the natural order with an invaluable opportunity for peace.

The unfortunate reality is that nothing really changes between humans and beasts.  Even with the ability to communicate solutions and intentions, the animal world remains vicious.  The blame does not fall solely on the humans, however, they are certainly characterized as the common enemy of the animal world.  Even under the oppression of their universal adversaries, the beasts continue their own struggle for dominance by fighting in species-related conflicts.

I would like to think that Miyazaki personified his creatures thusly in order to illustrate the true wilderness of humanity.  I believe that humans have really really lucked out in terms of evolution.  It is my opinion that any number of animals could have risen as the dominant species of the world, but our environmental conditions called for thumbs and a bipedal gait.  Consequently, we were given the the physical capability and the environmental pressure necessary to develop efficient communication an universalize intellectual content. It could have been any animal. I wish horses ruled the world. I would dig that so much. Everything would be pretty.

Smith Grave Fireflies

Grave of the Fireflies was a real bummer to watch. I can't say that I've ever seen a movie that is so comprehensively depressing. It would be one thing if there were a single instance in which the main characters experienced fortune, but there isn't.

From the word go, the two main characters, Setsuko and Seita, are thrust into an unfamiliar family dynamic. In beginning of the film the children lose their mother in a United States air raid on Japan. From this point on Seita is responsible for providing for himself and his little sister. Naturally, the fourteen-year-old Seita seeks out support from his aunt (his dead mother's sister). At first, Seita's aunt seems happy to take care of the children. It seems that she considers it a prideful deed to care for the homeless children of her supposedly critically injured sister. When Seika reveals that he and his sister are, in fact, orphans, their aunt changes her tone. At this point she begins to criticize Seita's unemployment and accuses the children of leeching her family's resources. Their aunt even begins to scold them for enjoying themselves through activities like playing piano in the middle of the day. I lived with a lady like this while i was evacuated for hurricane Katrina. It was great that she let us use her house, but she was a total bitch.  There were like four kids at her house and she wouldn't let us use the computer or do anything fun like swimming. Idk that lady burns me up. I had to put up with her boring nonsense for two weeks until I relocated. Relocating, however, was great. I moved about an hour away to my other cousins' house where we got to do all kinds of fun stuff. My cousins were my age, so moving provided a great opportunity for peer to peer discourse and activities. We did fun stuff like jumping bike into lakes and climbing trees. I enjoyed it. The bottom line is that children need distractions in times of crisis. When parents aren't present it becomes difficult to make that happen because they don't have free time. too bad.

Smith Vampire Hunter D

   

     Vampire Hunter D is a really rad flick because it combines vampires and cowboys, two entirely bad ass forms of life, and thrusts them in a post-apocalyptic universe with no immediately apparent timeframe.  I suppose the vampiric characters in Vampire Hunter D are pretty cool, but characters of the more western persuasion had horses. Horses really grab my attention.  So I'm going to focus on those. I was disappointed with the opening of the film because it introduced Doris' beautiful white horse, Luke, and immediately showed him being eaten by dinosaurs. In my opinion, dinosaurs aren't even worth feeding. Let's be serious, they couldn't even survive a meteor shower. Horses, on the other hand, remain one of natures most relevant and useful products.  The worst part is that they killed him just after the audience learns his name.  At the time of Luke's departure, I was prepared to see him develop as a character and maybe have a few more fight scenes or a love interest. The one saving grace of Luke's fate is that he died quite nobly. His master called for his assistance and he hopelessly fought a bunch of monsters because it was his duty as a horse.

     One thing about which I feel sort of conflicted is the mechanical nature of the world's horses.  On one hand, robots are where it's at; On the other, however, it is a completely unnecessary bastardization of the most flawless animal on the planet. Regardless, they look really nice and they allow their riders to pull off cool stunts.  One cool horse stunt occurred when D sprung from his running mechano-horse and glided across a chasm.  The horse machines are great, but I wouldn't call them horses. Maybe more like running cars that you sit on top of instead of inside of.

Horses. 

Smith Perfect Blue

Perfect  Blue is really cool looking and entertaining. In Perfect Blue there is a lot of nasty violence and suspense-- qualities which typically make for a pretty solid film. What I enjoyed most was Perfect Blue's sympathetic, mongoloid antagonist, Uchida. Uchida's simple intention is to stalk the girl he loves. Who can blame the guy? Uchida's Obsession with the film's main character, Mima, becomes less innocent when it morphs into a dangerous and violent case of multiple personality disorder. After Mima leaves her beloved J-pop group, "CHAM!", her number one fan begins to hallucinate her former pop image as the real Mima, a Mima who urges him to murder the fake Mima. This is where things get sticky. Uchida begins to send Mima letter bombs, dead producers, and a bunch of other cool stuff to reinstate the old Mima as the real Mima.  In contrast with the Uchida who once defended Mima's honor by taking a nasty beating for her at her final show, the new Uchida is an entirely oppositely-minded individual. 

     I believe that Uchida changes the way he does because he is a figment of Mima's imagination.There is a number of instances in which it is suggested that Uchida is only visible to Mima. On top of his suggested invisibility, it seems like his change demeanor is directly related to the attitude Mima needs to solve her problems. Throughout the film Mima inwardly expresses her desire to return to her pop star way of life. Uchida's sentiment is likewise but violent and extreme. Uchida's assaults are directed at people who encouraged Mima to leave her pop group and people who portrayed her as "dirty." What's more is that Uchida's activities all take place while the "real" Mima is unconscious.  Pretty convenient stuff. When you look at him that way he can't be creepy because he isn't real. All he is is Mima being a total badass. That is why i love Uchida. Cool guy.

Smithbotchan

     Botchan was a really nice flick. The producers and writers and whatnot put together a great summarization of a classic Japanese novel that felt as natural as an original work. However, the camera angels and the liberal use of stills sometimes made it seem like one of those terrible PBS fairy tale interpretations (whatever those are called). That being said, I really enjoyed Botchan on the whole.

     One thing I like about Botchan is the fact that the hero of the story isn't really a great guy.  The only fully sympathetic moments he has revolve around his old lady best friend, Kiyo. I believe she was his nanny or something, but I like to think they were also lovers. Anyway, as soon as Botchan is faced with responsibility or important decisions, he tends to react in a pretty extreme and disrespectful fashion. On his first day of night duty at a boarding school full of middle schoolers, he decides that it is more important for him to completely break the rules of his brand new job and go swimming at the hot springs. Gee whiz! Botchan's rash pattern of behavior also presents itself in his encounters with his students. For example, When they present him with an equation that he is unable to solve, he totally freaks out and yells at them. As soon as I saw that I was like seriously, bro? They are twelve. Take it easy. Naturally, Botchan's relationship with his students only gets worse from there. The students have eyes all over the place and they use them to track Botchan and mock him for his recreational habits like swimming laps in the hotsprings or eating too much tempura.  Botchan handles his assailants by calling them stupid and indiscriminately accusing them of trespassing against him.  As you can imagine,  his strategy does not exactly work out. The irony of Botchan's reactions is that they make him look pretty stupid and the students are not really the bad guys.
   
     Botchan's oppressers (the real bad guys), the principal and vice principle, treat him as tactfully as possible while cleverly deceiving him and besting him with their wit.  Of course, Botchan triumphs against their evil, but he also loses his job and nothing super consequential happens to the bad guys.  In this regard it would appear that Botchan suggests the futility of hot-headedness and the ultimate supremacy of intellectual methods of problem solving. In another sense the film presents a message about standing up against one's opressors and following your <3.

Smith Ninja Scroll Smith Smith

*DISCLAIMER*

     

Judging by the definition of the muscles in his mastoid
region, this horse had years and years of labor
and love to look forward to. 

     The absolute low point of Ninja Scroll occurs when Jubei, the supposedly morally upright hero of the film, murders a perfectly innocent and lovely horse and disguises it as a plague host in an attempt to scare a few townspeople away from certain death. Nice try, Japan, but the fact of the matter is that the majority of equestrian diseases pose no threat to mankind. If you know me personally or follow my blog, you are well aware of my affinity for horses. There is absolutely no circumstance under which I am willing to tolerate the slightest of transgressions against these marvelous acts of nature. It amazes me to see how comprehensively Ninja Scroll's perverted development team was willing to bastardize the art of animated film making with this indiscriminately violent smut.

That's right, folks. He can fit an entire boob in his mouth.
Just one of his many helpful demonic attributes.

     Otherwise, I felt that the film was generally agreeable and downright entertaining. The writers did a splendid job of combining super human combat sequences with a modest dash of romance. I enjoyed seeing the more personal sides of characters which could easily have been overlooked in lieu of additional action or more expedited plot advancement. Nearly every character in the story is driven by a cocktail of terribly weakening vices and grave moral defects which often contribute to his or her demise. Among these vices are greed, pride, substance abuse, and a rather hefty appetite for rape. The film does not, however, exempt morally sound characters from nature induced misfortune. The savior of Ninja Scroll's universe, Jubei, nearly meets his end when he refuses to have sexual relations with Kagero, a girl whose bodily fluids are guaranteed to quell the life-threatening poison within his veins.

That's a pretty ghetto lookin' booty. 

     A fairly prominent theme of Ninja Scroll is the poisonous nature of women. It is certainly no coincidence that the film's two sexiest broads are genetically designed to seduce lustful males and infuse them with poison. The film's heroine/sidekick, Kagero, controls (or lacks control of) poison as a defense mechanism against the tyranny of physically superior males. Anyone with whom Kagero has sexual contact-- consensually or otherwise-- is affected by her poison. Kagero's demonic counterpart, Benisato, possesses the acutely malicious abilities of hypnosis and an army of uniquely poisonous snakes which disguise themselves as tattoo's on her attractive, often naked body. Pretty hot stuff. As rough as the women of Ninja Scroll may sound, they aren't entirely bad. Jubei's dependency on Kagero's sexual inhibition suggests that there is, perhaps, a proper poison out there for all of us. <3.